Guddi

  Guddi

                                                                   

Guddi, which means a doll, is what her family called her since the day she was born. She was a shy, and conservative yet courageous girl who belonged to a small village named Rohrai in Haryana, India. Her family relations were no different from those of other families in the state in the ‘60s. Her mother and her aunt were married to her father and her uncle.

As a child, Guddi always performed above average in her school. She was the most brilliant child in her family. Her aunt (mother’s sister) would frequently visit Guddi’s house, leaving behind a bunch of old clothes for Guddi, her siblings, and her mother. Guddi was mesmerized with her aunt’s personality. She was a nurse who used to dress up like a fine lady. Guddi would often think to herself “one day I’m going to wear clothes just like maasi’s (aunt)”. As Guddi grew up and the village’s only school failed to provide her with education after 7th grade, Guddi moved in to her aunt’s place, leaving her family behind. It was not easy, but she always found another mother in her aunt. She started her school again and enjoyed every bit of it. She became a cyclist, a badminton player, a kho-kho player and a kabaddi player. She would ride her cousins to school and back home, help them with household chores, and study diligently.

A few years later, when Guddi turned 16, her parents started looking for a groom for their daughter. Guddi, having a dream of becoming something had a condition to agree to marry. She only wanted a groom who was a government employee and had a stable job. She knew that only an educated man would let her pursue hers. She married a guy who had gotten selected in one of the national defense services, and later on became an airman.

The guy lived in Chennai for his training while Guddi stayed back with her aunt to complete her high school. Right after high school, Guddi got selected to be trained as a nurse in Jaipur, Rajasthan. She wrote a letter to her husband and her father-in-law about her success and the financial aid she needed for the same. Her husband, on one hand, was a little upset about her application without his notice, and on the other hand, her father-in-law was really happy with the news. Guddi went to her in-laws place for a while with her husband. She wore a nice yellow saree and went to the common well to bring water along with her sisters-in-law. Guddi had grown into a beautiful lady. Every woman on her way to the well or to the farms would stop her and ask her to show her face. Her sisters-in-law, being very protective of her, would not let anyone touch her but, they themselves would show them her face and become happy for having such a beautiful sister-in-law. Everyone in the village knew of her beauty and would call her a diamond in a poor man’s cottage.

Guddi’s husband would visit her once in a while during her training. After completing her training she joined as a staff nurse in the biggest city hospital and soon delivered a beautiful baby girl. Because of lack of a family in the city, with a heavy heart, Guddi decided to leave her daughter with her mother back in her hometown. Days passed by and Guddi sometimes suffered bouts of emotions. She would rush to her home town to see her daughter and would not let her go away from her arms till she was there. After 3 years, Guddi gave birth to another baby girl and luckily, her husband got transferred to the same city. They both lived in the Air Force Station. After 2 years, Guddi was blessed with a baby boy but, her husband got transferred to some other city, and Guddi moved in to a rented apartment with her children. A few months later, her mother-in-law sent two of her children to study in the city and live with Guddi. Guddi then, was just 25 years old, with five children and a job to take care of. She didn’t step back from her responsibilities but, she knew she had to have a house of her own to raise the children well. Soon after, she spoke to her father-in-law and her husband and bought a small piece of land in the city to build a house of her own. She also bought a small scooter to make sure she dropped and picked up her children safely from their school. Her days started at 5 o’clock in the morning; cooking for everyone, packing lunch boxes, dropping her kids to school, going to the hospital, standing in the operation theatres for 4-5 hours straight every day, leaving the hospital, picking her kids up, buying groceries, returning home, doing the laundry, cooking dinner while her kids did their homework, eating and falling asleep. So many things to do, yet she was a happy young lady who would go on with some fuel in her scooter but without a penny in her purse at the end of a month or two every year. Despite financial restrictions, she made sure her children ate, studied and played well. She spent almost 18 years like this and in the meantime she helped every person in her neighborhood and from her village who needed medical help. She had kept a separate room for patients. Her kids grew up looking up to her. Soon, they became independent in terms of studies, food, laundry, gardening, and many other household chores. Almost all three of them learned to cook at the age of 12-13 years. Guddi got her sister- and brother-in-law married soon. Her children were now teenagers.

Guddi now felt the need of her husband to be by her side. As her kids were heading towards higher education, she needed her husband to be with them and guide them through. Her husband retired and stayed at home with the children. Soon, she realized that her husband’s behavior was changing due to so much time getting wasted at home. Her husband got through a few entrance exams and secured a very good job with the Central Government in the capital of India, Delhi. Guddi didn’t want her husband to leave the family again, so they decided to shift to Delhi together. She looked at the house for one last time before leaving, the house which had been making the best memories of her life for the last 18 years. With tears rolling down her face, Guddi and her family shifted to the big city. Her kids being teenagers faced a lot of problems along with the major change in family as they lived with their father for the first time after so long. The family was together because of Guddi, her love and her ability to make things better at the end of the day. A few years later, Guddi lost her mother to cancer. She lost hope. Her mother was her only best friend. She used to go to the farms with her and talk her heart out about everything that bothered her. Guddi’s health started deteriorating. She underwent an operation for her kidney. Her kids realized that it was time that they pay her back. They took good care of her, talked to her, hugged her every now and then, bought her things, and kept her happy. Guddi is now in her 50s. Her husband also showed a huge change. He started travelling with her. He takes her to the most beautiful places and spends time with her. Guddi has started living again. Her elder daughter is an editor and is now happily married and stays in England. Her younger daughter is a dentist and her son is an artist. Guddi (Rashmi) is my mother and there is no woman like her that I’ve ever seen in my life. Time slips off our hands like sand. It is important to realize who is important in our life. Just like my mother, I try and spread love and humanity as much as possible. She has taught me how to be a human.

-Dr. Anushikha Dhankhar